Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Riding in on a big white horse.....

Today was my private equindultry lesson for the week. This week's horse was Wiley, a great big grey QH (he looks a lot like Snapper probably does in his dreams - a tall, muscular flea bit grey horse).

Wiley is the first horse I have ridden on this part of the journey who was not a schoolie, he is owned by one of the other boarders at WL. Wiley has been shown in pleasure and is now shown in games. Saying I was intimidated at the thought of getting on him is an understatement. From the moment I took the lead rope it was clear this is a strong horse with the attitude to be difficult if he wants to. I could not have been more surprised when I got on him how good it felt riding him.

The point in being on Wiley was for me to experience a more "forward" horse, a horse with more 'go' than I am used to. And he had that! And quite frankly I will admit that a month ago had Etta put me on this horse I would have panicked, probably screamed and been off him as fast as possible. But what Wiley taught me today is how far I have come as a rider in the last few weeks, how I have matured, how my seat has changed and with it my confidence.

I look back at where I was last fall, how I spent 75% of my time riding worrying if I would fall off, even at the walk and especially at the trot. How consumed I was by my fears, and today that wasn't even a factor. I felt safe, I felt capable, I didn't feel over my head - and frankly it was a great feeling. It was in no way what I expected to feel on a horse with more go than Joker. I smiled through that entire ride (ok maybe except for one stop at the lope, I still need to fix my seat stopping out of the canter, big time). And the smile was probably less about the ride and more about the realization of where I have gotten to. Etta has been telling me for a few weeks how much my seat has changed, and I could see small glimpses of it, but today I totally saw it. And more than that I saw the changes in my thoughts and my confidence and my comfort that have come with finding a solid, independent seat.

I got on Wiley in hopes of getting ready for Atlanta, but in the end Wiley showed me how ready I already am. He made me believe I can handle whatever horse they put me on, that I have grown to where I needed to get.

I said above that today I saw the change in my head also. Truth, this week, I have realized that my path with horses is probably going to be very different than what I thought the plan was. These different horses have brought into focus what I want for my future, they have shown me options I didn't know were out there for me, they have made me re-examine what I want for myself, and the answers are not what I thought they were. I am still trying to figure out what it all means, but I know my path has changed.

It's kinda funny because I am beginning to think the preparation for going to this clinic may have been the real lesson, and that while I expect to get tons out of the clinic, that the reason this opportunity came up was as much about what I have learned these last 6 or so weeks than about the clinic itself. The journey was what was important, not the destination!!!!!

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